Lol...
Experience numero uno- I was really great friends with a guy who was an officer in the military stationed in Alabama. He would come to visit and we would go out on dates to events, and as most single mother's would do, I did not have him around my son initially. But the one day he surprised me with a visit, my son was out of school sick. I was very interested on how the rest would play out, my son being a boy, loved his car because he had a nice gadgets in his car and a CD player even he was afraid to touch. We were outside playing soccer and as we were walking back towards the car, my son reached up and grabbed his hand. The look on this guy's face when that happened, was classic. He had never dated a single mother, and I told him from the beginning, I'm not looking for a daddy for my son, I have that part handled. But he was afraid, very afraid. I could understand his fear, but he was traditional I suppose, whatever that is nowadays, and told me, I can't handle it. I took one on the chin of course and never looked back, he did, but I didn't.
There is the occasional man who is afraid to date a single mother. I have yet to get any responses as to why, but they are for whatever reasons. We need love to. A lady I recently met is 23 and has 3 children, very beautiful lady, the way she put it is "I made mistakes in my past, and my children aren't those mistakes, but it's hard to find someone to love me and accept my children." I have dated single father's who found it hard to accept that I have a child. If you are a guy and have 5 children from 5 different women, I apologize, it would be hard for me to accept that, because the drama that could occur is not something that I want in my life. Plus, it can be hard for me to remember names sometimes.
Yet there was a lady that was in the same conversation who had 4 children and spoke about finding a very loving and accepting man. I have met couples like this myself. There are statistics out that single parent households are on the rise, and probably by the time I'm finished posting this our numbers are number 1.
This is how I explain the situation to my fearful male friends, if you were a child and your father wasn't around or your mom was divorced and he was in your life, would you want your mother to have a relationship that was fulfilling and loving and in turn you would have the same sort of relationship? There is bias towards single mothers.
I worked with a lady who was 32, had 6 kids and was pregnant with number 7, only 2 and a half-the one in her belly- were her husband's. That was a good man! My uncle once told me, to find a man, let alone a white man to accept me as a single mother, would be a very special man. Being a man of very few words unless provoked, he was right and I recognized him for saying so. Gentleman, we need love to, I'm not begging for a date. But there are plenty of women out there for you, you just may have to work a little harder to get it. What we work for in life are usually things that we appreciate and treasure more than what's handed to us. Till another post, Satori
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3 comments:
>There is the occasional man who >is afraid to date a single >mother. I have yet to get any >responses as to why, but they
>are for whatever reasons.
I can think of a few possible reasons.
-Not mature enough to handle the situation.
-Realizing not financial strong enough if it were to lead to
more than just dating.
-Thinking ahead of the possible
EX drama from the kids father.
Lane
And all good reasons..well valid, but there can be drama with a single woman without children just the same, ex-bf problems, jealousy, etc. Or she can be just as imbalanced herself. The maturity that can be very true, or they prefer to still party their days away and not want to have any responsibility. All valid reasons, but occasionally there is the man that wants the mother but doesnt want the package..Which most of the time, thats the real reason..
"but there can be drama with a single woman without children just the same"
True, the same reason could apply. But since you were talking about single mothers that's how I answered it. :-)
"All valid reasons, but occasionally there is the man that wants the mother but doesnt want the package..Which most of the time, thats the real reason"
And the few reasons I listed plus the many more that we both could think of are still reasons that could explain why a guy is not interested in the whole package. Really if a guy is not interested in the responsiblity of the whole package he should not pursue a woman with children to begin with. It just leads to headache down the road....
Lane
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