Finding that interracial relationship

I am one to testify, that if you are interested or prefer dating interracially, it's very hard depending on your demographics. And even then depending on your personality it can be hard. So how do you find someone who you can date or get to know? I have no idea. lol. Seriously, I don't.If you go to a bar, what will you find? An inebriated person that might not remember your name and just might puke in your car. If you go to a club,do you really want to potentially marry someone you met at a club? I think the best options are online and at a get together. Go to cultural events, go to concerts, go to museums, many people say go to church, but I'm not one to corrupt a person or want someone to accept me for who I am and change their belief system.

See, the problem is people are sometimes afraid. The person may not be interested. They have a boyfriend. 20 Kids. Not your type and will never be, it's usually something. I live in the South, and many of the guys I am attracted to, it's funny, they're gay or want to keep it in the closet, which isn't cool. It's like being a diabetic in a candy store! I travel alot, but many people aren't interested in long distance relationships, I would actually take it anyway I could get it-my thoughts slipped through my fingertips sorry.
Usually the best options are online, because at least then you can get to know the person. I am all for online dating especially if your lifestyle leaves you with such an option or lack of options.. So, where do you find the person, what site? Any site, if you just look through the profiles I promise, there are many people that have the preferred ethnicity of their partner not specified, and if it is, it doesn't hurt to send out a flirt. Most people are afraid of rejection, but why? Hurt your ego? I think of it this way, it's not like he's going to bite me, eat me up, most people don't want to hurt your feelings, so they won't reply at all. Often if you approach the person in the right way in person or online, with a casual conversation, the possibilities are there.

interracially speaking

Interracial dating, is sincerely not something that you decide that you are going to do. Dating someone of the opposite race or ethnicity, meaning a black woman dating a white man, asian man, latino man; black man dating a white woman, asian woman, latino woman; or any of the vice versas is not at all something that you consciously make a decision about. It is something that really just happens. When you "Decide", you then set yourself up for a big disappointment. You are setting yourself up with trying to weave in between the racial lines, the social lines would be the proper term. If you find someone of the opposite race attractive, you talk to them, get to know them, then things happen.
And other times, it is something that really sincerely just happens. My first "love", Mr.John, remember the other post "My first Time", it was a decision for me, because when she said his friend is white, I said, "Oh heck yea!" I didn't curse yet at that time.
During that time, I didn't exclude out any other race or ethnicity. But as time went on, it was something that just happened. Every one I meet, ask me Why do you date white men? It's me, it just happened that way. I accept it, and everyone around me accepts the fact that I interracially date. If I'm dating someone new or have a friend, no one bothers to ask, "are the black, white,what?" Well, two of my cousin's do, but they remind themselves before I even have to answer the question, not unless I pop them with a surprise, oh, he's puerto rican. Then its like "OMG"
A Great Example, and I think it's quite funny, in my parents hometown, my black girlfriends, who always had something to say or ask, now call me up, wanting me to hook them up with a white guy. I'm a great matchmaker, but no longer in the business, I need to match myself, how can I solve their problem. When you are who you are, people accept it. When you have always been "true" or real with who you are, what you do, your decisions in life good or bad, no one questions the way you walk or the way you talk. And if they did, I really wouldn't care, but this is a proper introduction to a topic I will cover tomorrow, the Fear of the Unknown. Until another post..Satori

to jump into the jungle

You can't just wake up and decide that you want to jump on the jungle fever wagon and see what the hype is all about. Well you can, but I wouldn't suggest it. Because you need to be aware of everything behind it. Who you are, what you are, and why you are doing it.
If you wake up and decide you want to purchase a ticket on the interracial train,perhaps because you want to be treated right or like a queen, you think all the black guys are dogs, black women just want your money, black women have too many children, all the good black men are taken, you just don't get along with white women, you have nothing in common with the women or men you meet, whatever your reason. YOU ARE SOOO WRONG...lol, seriously you are. That nice booty, doctor, lawyer, BMW, bling blingy, saggy pants, loud music and reputation, or whatever materialistic that can disappear or physical that can go south, will sway your vote faster than you could ever realize. Maybe, you should evaluate the type of person you are dating? This post is not just for women, this ENTIRE blog is not just for women.

Same type of person but in a different form kind of thing. I had the habit of dating the same type of guy,but just physically different. And by this I mean, I dated the "thuggish" white guy, the tattooed white guy, the black guy that was in college, the guy from the trailer park, the white guy in college, the guy with a job, doesn't really matter what color. WHY NOT? Their ethnicity, I'm throwing the Latin men in there too hun, doesn't even matter because EVERY last one had a problem and so did I. Didn't matter what the problem was, it was just more than what I needed in my life. Whether it was the guy that needed saved, the guy that needed helped, the guy that needed some nurturing. The guy who played on your sympathy, the guy who wanted to ride your coattail to the corporate world. It does NOT Matter..There was a problem, and the problem was the same guy, different form,my pick, my choice, my fault. They didn't prey on me, that's not what I'm saying at all.But it took a moment to see it, to see it wasn't the guys I was dating, that in reality it was me and what I was seeing, attracted to, fairy tale, hell, even nightmares. So, I took a break from dating. To evaluate myself and all that was around me, why I was attracted to those men, to get away from them,myself, my own mind too I suppose. To reassess my standards, quality, likes, dislikes, what I needed. Will go back over this in another post! Till then.

curiousity will kill the cat

This post is not going to go over well. I already know, but it needs to be addressed.
There is a notion, and I have asked many of my friends in the past 24-48 hours about this. What is it that makes a man who has never dated an ethnic or black woman want to do so or rather make really rude comments? What is it? Unfortunately, I had a guy I have been friends with for quite some time, casual conversation, business, and he went THERE!
There being, "I bet you can shake those hips! I bet you can hurt a guy with that!" While, I let him keep talking and very quickly hang himself, I kept quiet, and shockingly said to myself "Oh My! No he Did Not!" and confirming, "YES, he did!"
Should I correct his perceptions, thoughts, curiosity? Should I tell him how wrong he is for not seeing through the physical to the person he has had a business relationship with for so long? Umm, that's a negative. Why try to correct a view that unfortunately, whether we want to admit it or not, society has allowed to prevail for black women, asian women, and white women, and I'm beyond the point of trying to help it. No, we can't stop the ladies in the videos, the XXX videos, but just because the backside is there, doesn't mean it is my goal in life to make sure it's plastered on your TV screen, yes at one time it crossed my mind. I told you I would be honest from the beginning.
I mean come on, we have women in rap video's who have buttocks swallowing strings, running credit cards up between their butt cheeks, and making money, but there is the question, have we allowed this to happen?
Did I do or say something wrong for him to suddenly want to comment that I should be in a music video, pumping and humping air, a pole, or anything other prop- he said it more provactive than I just did? Matter of fact, my personal life had never ever came out this whole time. Personal life, meaning I interracially speak, but the interracial curiosity is present because of several notions, misconceptions, really dumb arse ideas, and for a lack of better terms misrepresentation through music, TV, movies, media, whatever you want to call it! He is no longer a business or professional associate, even though I have accepted his apologies
There is a thing called the social structure, if none of you have yet to take a racial relations/sociology class. There is an assumed hierarchy with white men at the top. White men just are NOT supposed to marry a black woman. It's taboo. It's something that you just don't do, well you aren't supposed to do, according to the BS hierarchical system as we should call it. There's you, us, them, etc etc.

For those, wondering what this is all about, it's about being careful, what you say can ruin everything. I am not saying that every man that winks, stares, or even blows you a kiss wants to dip into the berry farm. I am also NOT AT ALL saying that some women don't just want to find someone that is going to provide them with a "mutually beneficial" relationship and want to use your body and wallet while you want to explore her mind, dreams and goals. DO NOT BE mistaken about this post.

There is a big difference in being curious and being normal, sane, and letting things fall where they fall and approaching a person as a person. Being curious is the equivalent of wanting to see if your tongue will stick to the metal pole across the street after it's been 20 below all week and snow is up to your eyeballs. Being normal, sane and letting things happen with your BS radar turned on-Guys and Girls- is when you take her out to eat, have a nice conversation, don't ask each other really useless questions, and look at each other as a person, friend, and not Bunny from the music videos, she makes "bank" but many of us are not aspiring to be her protege. Use common sense darlings

love is where you find it.

It really doesn't matter, race, ethnicity, love is only where you find it or it finds you. I have not always dated the most sane guys or emotionally stable, whether black or white. But, ladies, and guys, love finds you in so many different ways, through so many different channels, people, experiences, whatever. Once you set a standard in your life and what is acceptable and not acceptable for yourself, others will adhere to those standards. Without being told. People do only what you allow them to do, treat you how you allow them to treat you. Are you or me out to change the world? Hell no..Maybe get some minds to thinking, yes...But if they don't, I am only here for the select few. A small diary, a know how, a journal, and to generate some discussion.
To say all men are dogs is quite wrong, to say black men are dogs is wrong, to say white men only want to date black women for sex or to see if it's different is just as incorrect as the first two.
Interracial dating is a choice, a conscious decision that you are aware of the possibilities, the situations, the problems, the drama, the difference, and you accept it all. I accept being different. I accept and love myself. I dislike drama. I dislike stereotypes, but in all honesty they are all across the board no matter what race, creed, background, etc. I will not dive into them. I will only dive into my experiences, where I am coming from, and what I know.

The Loving's

The bottom is a case that I recall studying in a sociology class I had.

In June of 1958, Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter were married in Washington, D.C. Six months after having been married, the couple was arrested, convicted of a felony, and sentenced to a year in jail. Their crime? Richard was white. Mildred was black.
The trial judge suspended the sentence for a period of 25 years on the condition that the Lovings leave the State and not return to Virginia together for 25 years. He stated in an opinion that:
"Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix."
The Lovings moved to Washington, D.C. (where they lived for 8 years) and appealed their conviction on the grounds that Virginia law (The Racial Integrity Law of 1924) violated their rights to equal protection of the law and due process under the Fourteenth Amendment.
Their case went through many levels of the justice system and their appeal was denied every time. On June 12, 1967, their case appeared before the United States Supreme Court. The Court decided unanimously (9-0) to strike down Virginia's laws, as well as statutes in 17 other states that still forbade interracial marriages. Finally, after nine years of struggle, the Lovings won the right to live together as husband and wife in their home state. In the words of Chief Justice Earl Warren, "Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry a person of another race resides within the individual and cannot be infringed on by the State. These convictions must be reversed. It is so ordered."

Mildred Loving is alone now-- The marriage that entered her name in law school textbooks ended in 1975 when a drunken driver broadsided the couple's car and killed her husband. She lives quietly in the small cinderblock house Loving built for her and three children after the Supreme Court decision allowed them to return to Virginia "MIXED AND MATCHED. Mildred and Richard Loving didn't want to overturn Virginia's anti-miscegenation law, they just wanted to get married."

to speed this up

I have dated interracially for almost 12 years. At first it was for the sole purpose of the scarce creation of guys who were untarnished by my peers and friends. And now, it is an attraction. What attraction you may ask? I can't explain that. I truly can't. You may like your steak rare, and I may prefer mine well done. I am who I am. I have dated 3 black men in the past 12 years. None of them lasted too long. I have many black male friends, but the attraction is lacking for a reason I can't explain. My family accepts this, my nephew is biracial, I have cousins who are biracial. Everyone loves everyone. And if they do have a problem with it, most of us dont' care or will lose no sleep over it.
When I went back to my parent's hometown--MS/TN..Do people stare? If they do, I don't notice. And the one's that do, most of the time they smile. What they're thinking? I have no idea. Black women dating white men is starting to become a growing popularity, something that makes people do a double take. But why? We see a black man with a white woman, do we have to look once and look again to make sure we saw what we think we saw? lol, I think it's quite funny myself. Society is changing, people are evolving, minds, culture, it doesn't stop just because we choose to not think about it.

lol, my first time..

When we think about interracial dating? What's the first thought that comes to mind? White man, asian descent woman? black man and white woman? What's weird to me is that most people don't even think that a white man and an asian woman in a relationship is interracial dating. Really, I dont think many people think about it. It is.
But very seldom, does the thought come to a person's mind, " White, Latino, or Asian man and a Black or even Latino woman." I am not even going to attempt to cover race relations, I am here to cover, Interracial RELATIONSHIPS.

My first time all started at the age of 16. Being from a small town, most of the black guys were dating or sleeping with all the girls (black and white) that I knew. So, why get into the same pot, why not do my own thing right? So, I was talking to my friend at the time April-who was white, and asked her to get her friend "Spud", I think was his name to set me up with one of his friends, white friend of course.
I didn't switch to the "other side" because of some bitterness against black men, just because they were scarce. I was a pretty good girl, good student, had a wild hair I didn't know how to express yet. So, I wanted to explore something others were afraid to explore, or rather no one else or not many black chicks were doing. Even then I wasn't big on conforming to societies demands. So, here he came, John P. On the phone you could have swore he was a black guy, he had curly gorgeous hair, a nice smile, blue eyes. But dammit, he was a bad boy! But, he became my first love. Dont ask why we like bad boys, I can't explain that.

My post from Dec. 17th

Recently, I was on yahoo Answers, and came across a young lady that wanted to see more blogs about interracial dating. I am an interracial dater, I will add pictures of myself later. This is a Disclaimer Right Here Right Now: For those of you who are offended by this post, there is an X at the top of your browser that you can click and you dont have to read this, but if you chose to, there is absoultely no reason for you to get your panties in a wad and want to crucify me, frankly I dont care, but leave room for those who have something constructive to ask or say..For those of you who feel that the world should be one way and not the other, then Stay that way, I am not here to change the world or Your mind. You are entitled to the way you want to live and Im entitled to mine..as are others..There isnt enough on the internet about interracial dating. About the topic in general, and I hope over a certain number of posts to address the topic in an informing way. To do that I will have to tell you some things about myself, which I was planning on not fully doing. But to inform the masses, I will do so, so to get something sometimes you have to give something. And later tonight after I think about this and get some more things done, we will start a small educational conference. I will not answer sexual questions. But I will answer reasonable questions, Im not Dr. Ruth and dont claim to be. I will answer some myths, some facts, and the reality. So enjoy! and come back to see me now ya her'