Interracial dating, is sincerely not something that you decide that you are going to do. Dating someone of the opposite race or ethnicity, meaning a black woman dating a white man, asian man, latino man; black man dating a white woman, asian woman, latino woman; or any of the vice versas is not at all something that you consciously make a decision about. It is something that really just happens. When you "Decide", you then set yourself up for a big disappointment. You are setting yourself up with trying to weave in between the racial lines, the social lines would be the proper term. If you find someone of the opposite race attractive, you talk to them, get to know them, then things happen.
And other times, it is something that really sincerely just happens. My first "love", Mr.John, remember the other post "My first Time", it was a decision for me, because when she said his friend is white, I said, "Oh heck yea!" I didn't curse yet at that time.
During that time, I didn't exclude out any other race or ethnicity. But as time went on, it was something that just happened. Every one I meet, ask me Why do you date white men? It's me, it just happened that way. I accept it, and everyone around me accepts the fact that I interracially date. If I'm dating someone new or have a friend, no one bothers to ask, "are the black, white,what?" Well, two of my cousin's do, but they remind themselves before I even have to answer the question, not unless I pop them with a surprise, oh, he's puerto rican. Then its like "OMG"
A Great Example, and I think it's quite funny, in my parents hometown, my black girlfriends, who always had something to say or ask, now call me up, wanting me to hook them up with a white guy. I'm a great matchmaker, but no longer in the business, I need to match myself, how can I solve their problem. When you are who you are, people accept it. When you have always been "true" or real with who you are, what you do, your decisions in life good or bad, no one questions the way you walk or the way you talk. And if they did, I really wouldn't care, but this is a proper introduction to a topic I will cover tomorrow, the Fear of the Unknown. Until another post..Satori
Showing posts with label experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label experiences. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
to jump into the jungle
You can't just wake up and decide that you want to jump on the jungle fever wagon and see what the hype is all about. Well you can, but I wouldn't suggest it. Because you need to be aware of everything behind it. Who you are, what you are, and why you are doing it.
If you wake up and decide you want to purchase a ticket on the interracial train,perhaps because you want to be treated right or like a queen, you think all the black guys are dogs, black women just want your money, black women have too many children, all the good black men are taken, you just don't get along with white women, you have nothing in common with the women or men you meet, whatever your reason. YOU ARE SOOO WRONG...lol, seriously you are. That nice booty, doctor, lawyer, BMW, bling blingy, saggy pants, loud music and reputation, or whatever materialistic that can disappear or physical that can go south, will sway your vote faster than you could ever realize. Maybe, you should evaluate the type of person you are dating? This post is not just for women, this ENTIRE blog is not just for women.
Same type of person but in a different form kind of thing. I had the habit of dating the same type of guy,but just physically different. And by this I mean, I dated the "thuggish" white guy, the tattooed white guy, the black guy that was in college, the guy from the trailer park, the white guy in college, the guy with a job, doesn't really matter what color. WHY NOT? Their ethnicity, I'm throwing the Latin men in there too hun, doesn't even matter because EVERY last one had a problem and so did I. Didn't matter what the problem was, it was just more than what I needed in my life. Whether it was the guy that needed saved, the guy that needed helped, the guy that needed some nurturing. The guy who played on your sympathy, the guy who wanted to ride your coattail to the corporate world. It does NOT Matter..There was a problem, and the problem was the same guy, different form,my pick, my choice, my fault. They didn't prey on me, that's not what I'm saying at all.But it took a moment to see it, to see it wasn't the guys I was dating, that in reality it was me and what I was seeing, attracted to, fairy tale, hell, even nightmares. So, I took a break from dating. To evaluate myself and all that was around me, why I was attracted to those men, to get away from them,myself, my own mind too I suppose. To reassess my standards, quality, likes, dislikes, what I needed. Will go back over this in another post! Till then.
If you wake up and decide you want to purchase a ticket on the interracial train,perhaps because you want to be treated right or like a queen, you think all the black guys are dogs, black women just want your money, black women have too many children, all the good black men are taken, you just don't get along with white women, you have nothing in common with the women or men you meet, whatever your reason. YOU ARE SOOO WRONG...lol, seriously you are. That nice booty, doctor, lawyer, BMW, bling blingy, saggy pants, loud music and reputation, or whatever materialistic that can disappear or physical that can go south, will sway your vote faster than you could ever realize. Maybe, you should evaluate the type of person you are dating? This post is not just for women, this ENTIRE blog is not just for women.
Same type of person but in a different form kind of thing. I had the habit of dating the same type of guy,but just physically different. And by this I mean, I dated the "thuggish" white guy, the tattooed white guy, the black guy that was in college, the guy from the trailer park, the white guy in college, the guy with a job, doesn't really matter what color. WHY NOT? Their ethnicity, I'm throwing the Latin men in there too hun, doesn't even matter because EVERY last one had a problem and so did I. Didn't matter what the problem was, it was just more than what I needed in my life. Whether it was the guy that needed saved, the guy that needed helped, the guy that needed some nurturing. The guy who played on your sympathy, the guy who wanted to ride your coattail to the corporate world. It does NOT Matter..There was a problem, and the problem was the same guy, different form,my pick, my choice, my fault. They didn't prey on me, that's not what I'm saying at all.But it took a moment to see it, to see it wasn't the guys I was dating, that in reality it was me and what I was seeing, attracted to, fairy tale, hell, even nightmares. So, I took a break from dating. To evaluate myself and all that was around me, why I was attracted to those men, to get away from them,myself, my own mind too I suppose. To reassess my standards, quality, likes, dislikes, what I needed. Will go back over this in another post! Till then.
curiousity will kill the cat
This post is not going to go over well. I already know, but it needs to be addressed.
There is a notion, and I have asked many of my friends in the past 24-48 hours about this. What is it that makes a man who has never dated an ethnic or black woman want to do so or rather make really rude comments? What is it? Unfortunately, I had a guy I have been friends with for quite some time, casual conversation, business, and he went THERE!
There being, "I bet you can shake those hips! I bet you can hurt a guy with that!" While, I let him keep talking and very quickly hang himself, I kept quiet, and shockingly said to myself "Oh My! No he Did Not!" and confirming, "YES, he did!"
Should I correct his perceptions, thoughts, curiosity? Should I tell him how wrong he is for not seeing through the physical to the person he has had a business relationship with for so long? Umm, that's a negative. Why try to correct a view that unfortunately, whether we want to admit it or not, society has allowed to prevail for black women, asian women, and white women, and I'm beyond the point of trying to help it. No, we can't stop the ladies in the videos, the XXX videos, but just because the backside is there, doesn't mean it is my goal in life to make sure it's plastered on your TV screen, yes at one time it crossed my mind. I told you I would be honest from the beginning.
I mean come on, we have women in rap video's who have buttocks swallowing strings, running credit cards up between their butt cheeks, and making money, but there is the question, have we allowed this to happen?
Did I do or say something wrong for him to suddenly want to comment that I should be in a music video, pumping and humping air, a pole, or anything other prop- he said it more provactive than I just did? Matter of fact, my personal life had never ever came out this whole time. Personal life, meaning I interracially speak, but the interracial curiosity is present because of several notions, misconceptions, really dumb arse ideas, and for a lack of better terms misrepresentation through music, TV, movies, media, whatever you want to call it! He is no longer a business or professional associate, even though I have accepted his apologies
There is a thing called the social structure, if none of you have yet to take a racial relations/sociology class. There is an assumed hierarchy with white men at the top. White men just are NOT supposed to marry a black woman. It's taboo. It's something that you just don't do, well you aren't supposed to do, according to the BS hierarchical system as we should call it. There's you, us, them, etc etc.
For those, wondering what this is all about, it's about being careful, what you say can ruin everything. I am not saying that every man that winks, stares, or even blows you a kiss wants to dip into the berry farm. I am also NOT AT ALL saying that some women don't just want to find someone that is going to provide them with a "mutually beneficial" relationship and want to use your body and wallet while you want to explore her mind, dreams and goals. DO NOT BE mistaken about this post.
There is a big difference in being curious and being normal, sane, and letting things fall where they fall and approaching a person as a person. Being curious is the equivalent of wanting to see if your tongue will stick to the metal pole across the street after it's been 20 below all week and snow is up to your eyeballs. Being normal, sane and letting things happen with your BS radar turned on-Guys and Girls- is when you take her out to eat, have a nice conversation, don't ask each other really useless questions, and look at each other as a person, friend, and not Bunny from the music videos, she makes "bank" but many of us are not aspiring to be her protege. Use common sense darlings
There is a notion, and I have asked many of my friends in the past 24-48 hours about this. What is it that makes a man who has never dated an ethnic or black woman want to do so or rather make really rude comments? What is it? Unfortunately, I had a guy I have been friends with for quite some time, casual conversation, business, and he went THERE!
There being, "I bet you can shake those hips! I bet you can hurt a guy with that!" While, I let him keep talking and very quickly hang himself, I kept quiet, and shockingly said to myself "Oh My! No he Did Not!" and confirming, "YES, he did!"
Should I correct his perceptions, thoughts, curiosity? Should I tell him how wrong he is for not seeing through the physical to the person he has had a business relationship with for so long? Umm, that's a negative. Why try to correct a view that unfortunately, whether we want to admit it or not, society has allowed to prevail for black women, asian women, and white women, and I'm beyond the point of trying to help it. No, we can't stop the ladies in the videos, the XXX videos, but just because the backside is there, doesn't mean it is my goal in life to make sure it's plastered on your TV screen, yes at one time it crossed my mind. I told you I would be honest from the beginning.
I mean come on, we have women in rap video's who have buttocks swallowing strings, running credit cards up between their butt cheeks, and making money, but there is the question, have we allowed this to happen?
Did I do or say something wrong for him to suddenly want to comment that I should be in a music video, pumping and humping air, a pole, or anything other prop- he said it more provactive than I just did? Matter of fact, my personal life had never ever came out this whole time. Personal life, meaning I interracially speak, but the interracial curiosity is present because of several notions, misconceptions, really dumb arse ideas, and for a lack of better terms misrepresentation through music, TV, movies, media, whatever you want to call it! He is no longer a business or professional associate, even though I have accepted his apologies
There is a thing called the social structure, if none of you have yet to take a racial relations/sociology class. There is an assumed hierarchy with white men at the top. White men just are NOT supposed to marry a black woman. It's taboo. It's something that you just don't do, well you aren't supposed to do, according to the BS hierarchical system as we should call it. There's you, us, them, etc etc.
For those, wondering what this is all about, it's about being careful, what you say can ruin everything. I am not saying that every man that winks, stares, or even blows you a kiss wants to dip into the berry farm. I am also NOT AT ALL saying that some women don't just want to find someone that is going to provide them with a "mutually beneficial" relationship and want to use your body and wallet while you want to explore her mind, dreams and goals. DO NOT BE mistaken about this post.
There is a big difference in being curious and being normal, sane, and letting things fall where they fall and approaching a person as a person. Being curious is the equivalent of wanting to see if your tongue will stick to the metal pole across the street after it's been 20 below all week and snow is up to your eyeballs. Being normal, sane and letting things happen with your BS radar turned on-Guys and Girls- is when you take her out to eat, have a nice conversation, don't ask each other really useless questions, and look at each other as a person, friend, and not Bunny from the music videos, she makes "bank" but many of us are not aspiring to be her protege. Use common sense darlings
Thursday, January 04, 2007
really not all that complicated
Interracial dating is really not all that complicated. White, black, latino, asian, doesn't really matter. We are all different people whether in the same ethnicity or race or different. Different backgrounds, experiences, lack of experience.
To make the choice to or rather to meet someone outside of your race that you have feelings for and decide to date, is only as complicated as you make it. People say, their life is going to be so hard. Your children are going to have such a hard time growing up. Come on now! Really. If this was 15, 20, or even 50 years ago, I would agree somewhat. But we are in times of technological advancement, cloning of people and animals, rebuilding faces and organs, yet we can't bring our minds to fathom having a white,black, or whatever person in our family. What is really going on? Like I have said once before, I am not at all telling you to accept my view. Just let it marinate. There are people who wish to know more, wish to explore some notions, and maybe they're afraid to tell their parents that they're in love with someone they believe will not be accepted.
To make the choice to or rather to meet someone outside of your race that you have feelings for and decide to date, is only as complicated as you make it. People say, their life is going to be so hard. Your children are going to have such a hard time growing up. Come on now! Really. If this was 15, 20, or even 50 years ago, I would agree somewhat. But we are in times of technological advancement, cloning of people and animals, rebuilding faces and organs, yet we can't bring our minds to fathom having a white,black, or whatever person in our family. What is really going on? Like I have said once before, I am not at all telling you to accept my view. Just let it marinate. There are people who wish to know more, wish to explore some notions, and maybe they're afraid to tell their parents that they're in love with someone they believe will not be accepted.
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