single momma's need love too

Lol...
Experience numero uno- I was really great friends with a guy who was an officer in the military stationed in Alabama. He would come to visit and we would go out on dates to events, and as most single mother's would do, I did not have him around my son initially. But the one day he surprised me with a visit, my son was out of school sick. I was very interested on how the rest would play out, my son being a boy, loved his car because he had a nice gadgets in his car and a CD player even he was afraid to touch. We were outside playing soccer and as we were walking back towards the car, my son reached up and grabbed his hand. The look on this guy's face when that happened, was classic. He had never dated a single mother, and I told him from the beginning, I'm not looking for a daddy for my son, I have that part handled. But he was afraid, very afraid. I could understand his fear, but he was traditional I suppose, whatever that is nowadays, and told me, I can't handle it. I took one on the chin of course and never looked back, he did, but I didn't.
There is the occasional man who is afraid to date a single mother. I have yet to get any responses as to why, but they are for whatever reasons. We need love to. A lady I recently met is 23 and has 3 children, very beautiful lady, the way she put it is "I made mistakes in my past, and my children aren't those mistakes, but it's hard to find someone to love me and accept my children." I have dated single father's who found it hard to accept that I have a child. If you are a guy and have 5 children from 5 different women, I apologize, it would be hard for me to accept that, because the drama that could occur is not something that I want in my life. Plus, it can be hard for me to remember names sometimes.
Yet there was a lady that was in the same conversation who had 4 children and spoke about finding a very loving and accepting man. I have met couples like this myself. There are statistics out that single parent households are on the rise, and probably by the time I'm finished posting this our numbers are number 1.
This is how I explain the situation to my fearful male friends, if you were a child and your father wasn't around or your mom was divorced and he was in your life, would you want your mother to have a relationship that was fulfilling and loving and in turn you would have the same sort of relationship? There is bias towards single mothers.
I worked with a lady who was 32, had 6 kids and was pregnant with number 7, only 2 and a half-the one in her belly- were her husband's. That was a good man! My uncle once told me, to find a man, let alone a white man to accept me as a single mother, would be a very special man. Being a man of very few words unless provoked, he was right and I recognized him for saying so. Gentleman, we need love to, I'm not begging for a date. But there are plenty of women out there for you, you just may have to work a little harder to get it. What we work for in life are usually things that we appreciate and treasure more than what's handed to us. Till another post, Satori

Finding that interracial relationship

I am one to testify, that if you are interested or prefer dating interracially, it's very hard depending on your demographics. And even then depending on your personality it can be hard. So how do you find someone who you can date or get to know? I have no idea. lol. Seriously, I don't.If you go to a bar, what will you find? An inebriated person that might not remember your name and just might puke in your car. If you go to a club,do you really want to potentially marry someone you met at a club? I think the best options are online and at a get together. Go to cultural events, go to concerts, go to museums, many people say go to church, but I'm not one to corrupt a person or want someone to accept me for who I am and change their belief system.

See, the problem is people are sometimes afraid. The person may not be interested. They have a boyfriend. 20 Kids. Not your type and will never be, it's usually something. I live in the South, and many of the guys I am attracted to, it's funny, they're gay or want to keep it in the closet, which isn't cool. It's like being a diabetic in a candy store! I travel alot, but many people aren't interested in long distance relationships, I would actually take it anyway I could get it-my thoughts slipped through my fingertips sorry.
Usually the best options are online, because at least then you can get to know the person. I am all for online dating especially if your lifestyle leaves you with such an option or lack of options.. So, where do you find the person, what site? Any site, if you just look through the profiles I promise, there are many people that have the preferred ethnicity of their partner not specified, and if it is, it doesn't hurt to send out a flirt. Most people are afraid of rejection, but why? Hurt your ego? I think of it this way, it's not like he's going to bite me, eat me up, most people don't want to hurt your feelings, so they won't reply at all. Often if you approach the person in the right way in person or online, with a casual conversation, the possibilities are there.

So, why are you single?

Have you ever been talking to a friend, stranger, a potential companion and gotten the dreaded question, "So, why are you single?" I have been guilty of asking it myself,several times,well many times now that I think about it. How do you answer it? Do you blame your ex-partner? Do you blame yourself? Blame the dog? Blame her family?
But the real question is why do we actually ask it? I know myself, that I wonder "what is so bad about you that you don't have a girlfriend, wife, or whatever. What is it that you aren't telling me." I am occasionally over analytical, but I know I am so therefore I don't have to be reminded of that fault. However, that fault is my savior more than my demise.
I by far feel like every man or woman should be jointed at the hip with a mate, because that would leave less men for myself to pick and choose from, but sometimes you should ask the question. As dreadful as it may be to ask,and the long drawn out answer, you never know the answer you may get. There are always two sides to every story, and no one is perfect of course. If it's all his fault, and he just couldn't stay faithful, he wanted to party all the time, he was so this or that. Ask the person, well what did you do? Did you talk to him about it? What did he say? Why did you stay so long? I have been guilty of staying in relationships I knew were doomed. I don't like to argue and dread confrontation that I know isn't going to go over well, but someone has to do it, and it might as well be me fighting my own battle for my own cause-MY SANITY.
I found in a past relationship, that I failed to come to terms with the fact this guy had serious trust problems that really lied in his own insecurity. I just didn't know he was that insecure, but the trust problem I caught a hint of.
You never know what kind of demon, hellion, or whatever creature will come out later and scare the 'ell out of you where you sleep with one eye open.
Of course, I don't recommend starting the first conversation with this question, if you just listen or read what the person is saying, remember that "build rapport thing"-this is part of it; you will catch a hint or two that something isn't adding up or maybe all is well in the hood and they just picked a dumbarse. I will give some examples of my own experiences in a later post.
Many of us have a problem with actually listening, being analytical does come in handy, you may not realize what you are actually hearing at that time because you are seeing that nice smile, hearing their voice in your head when you should be concentrating on shaving your beard, and cupid is nipping at your heels, but later and hopefully not too late you will have an epiphany that you are kissing Lucifer's grandkid and you should run.

talking to a woman..seriously

Being an online geek, I have ran across all kinds of men, and in turn ran across all kinds of conversations. A most recent conversation that a gentleman was having with himself and I was only watching.."so you like white meat?" Um, babes, that is the wrong way to talk to someone, a woman, even a person that's eating some sort of fowl. Do Not, I repeat, DO not, start any sort of conversation in that manner. If you want to start a conversation with a black woman or any ethnic woman about why she interracially dates, then ask her. But ask with some sort of common sense. We all have our days that we lack the switch that tells the Common sense gene to activate. If you want her to come hither, do like I said in a previous post, talk about something in her profile, something you want to know, something you like and see if she's interested, if she isn't then don't let your feelings get hurt and it just wasn't meant to be, or help your own ego out and say "her loss",whatever.
The all around question I mostly see is, "so, what do you like to do for fun?" Well lets see, I like to dance, write, sleep, most things that other people like to do. Ask what type of music she likes, things that matter to you in a person, mate, a friend, if she knows her good traits and bad traits. I know what I need to work on in life, if she doesn't or acts like nothing is wrong. RUN! We fail to realize that someone who takes accountability for their actions and mistakes is someone who knows that there is room for progress. Which as the human race and Americans we often forget, there is always room for progress.
Dating these days aren't the same way they were 10 years ago. Technology has changed and in turn has also changed people or we were just doomed from the beginning. Have an open mind when you approach a person, you aren't going to find all the qualities you want in a person, and if you do, More power and tell me your secret. When you want someone to accept you as you are, sometimes we forget, we have to accept the other person as well. Honesty and a sense of humor could seriously make me overlook the fact that he has an extra finger, which I would overlook anyway. One thing that I always do with a friend if mine, is we see who can find the best jokes and text them to each other, we both love to laugh, is their potential for romance, no, we already tried it. But, a great friend. If nothing else, at least you know you have a friend in the making and it's possible the other pieces will fall into place.